If by chance you happen to be reading this blog on your BlackBerry, it’s very likely that you’re going to identify with what you’re about to read. Or what’s more likely is the red LED at the top of your screen is about to start flashing and distract you into checking you work email/hotmail/facebook/twitter/BlackBerry chat functions, which means you will never actually finish reading this. Yes, that’s definitely more likely.
Despite years of pitifully looking on at the scores of CrackBerry addicts that adorn Dubai’s malls, clubs and bars, I’m afraid to say I have become one. I recently found myself to be the proud owner of a BlackBerry Curve, since some inconsiderate, drunk pervert spilt his drink all over my beloved Swarovski encrusted Nokia E71 in a bar last week (yes, you read right – Swarovski encrusted. I’ve officially become one of ‘those’ Dubaians). I helplessly looked on as my pride and joy drowned in a Long Island Ice Tea, unable to jump in and save it on time. Despite several resuscitation attempts, she was gone. The lights were on, but there was definitely no one at home.
As I mourned my loss, a good friend of mine came to comfort me. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I will arrange to fix this one and you can have my BlackBerry until I do.” Having a spare phone and that spare phone being no less than a BlackBerry, is something that will probably baffle those of you who are reading back home in the UK. But this is Dubai. Everyone has several phones, particularly the locals who change their gadgets more than they change their kandoras. My friend in question was one such local. So off we went in the middle of the night to a palace (yes, a palace) to collect my replacement phone.
So once I got home that night, I unpacked my new arrival and tried to make sense of all the buttons and functions. At first, I had no idea what the fuss was about. The keyboard was tough to use, the layout was boring and without unlimited internet access the device seemed like an over glorified piece of plastic. An expensive one at that. I lustfully thought of my trusty Nokia E71 and everything we’d been through together: regretful drunkard text messages at 3.10am, shouting matches and awkward phone calls – my phone had been through it all with me. But all this nostalgia was about to dissipate fast.
Speaking to another one of my friends, I found out that Etisalat (a telecommunications provider here in the UAE) currently has a deal on offer – one month’s free internet access for BlackBerrys, no strings attached. Being completely and shamelessly addicted to Facebook, I relished the idea of being able to stalk people’s profiles while on the move. So I decided to give the offer a whirl and see what this bad boy could really do.
Once the set-up was complete (a simple process that entailed me sending one text message), the useless and expensive piece of plastic miraculously came alive. At the touch of a few buttons, I suddenly had instant access to personal email, work email, Facebook, MSN and BlackBerry Messenger. I finally understood what a ‘PIN’ was and was scrambling to find out which of my friends were fellow BB users.
All of a sudden my phone was pinging every five minutes. Sure enough I had a load of rubbish to contend with, but spam text messages, emails that entailed me actually doing some work and boring event invites aside, I found myself enjoying being able to access all my accounts at any time. I soon became hooked on the high of getting a new notification. I found myself updating my Facebook status even more than usual (a task I thought was impossible) and wanting to tell the world about every detail of my life (despite the fact I know no one gives a flying crap whether I’m drunk – again).
I’m embarrassed to admit that things got worse. I soon found myself becoming ‘one of those’ BlackBerry users. You know, the ones who parade their phone with the same pride a male gorilla parades its nuts and who always have their phones out on the table in a restaurant/coffee shop, just to prove to the world how important they are. Those who just have to check their phone the minute it pings and gleefully give anyone who owns anything other than a BB the look of pity. Bless, you only have a Samsung.
Like with any great relationship, however, the BlackBerry and I went through a sticky patch. Instant access to your work emails at the weekend is nothing less than masochistic. You may as well willingly chain yourself to your desk and offer to work seven days a week at no extra cost. And no matter how much you try not to check your inbox, the flashing red light will bug you and taunt you until you have lost the will to live and give in, only to find you’ve been given a crap assignment to do, or that the important material that you were waiting for from a PR isn’t actually ever going to make it to you. In one click of a button, your weekend is ruined and you find yourself wanting to lob Mr BB onto Sheikh Zayed road and watch as it’s smashed into smithereens. By having instant access to my work emails, I found myself having instant access to the feeling of dread you get back in the UK when a load of bills drop through the letter box, only this charged up version was not limited to once a day.
I have now had the BlackBerry for just over a week and I still haven’t heard about the fate of my E71. I guiltily have to admit, however, that despite the love I have for my old phone, I think I will be really upset the day I have to give BB up. I am already considering buying my very own BB, as the thought of going cold turkey and not having instant access to Facebook et al is now horrifying to me. Yes, despite the nuisance of having to deal with a work emails at the weekend, I still think that having the ability to check people’s status updates while stuck in yet another traffic jam outweighs the disadvantage. So, OK, maybe I have sold out just a little bit by giving in to the charm of the BB. But the truth is, once you go Black, you really can’t go back.
Despite years of pitifully looking on at the scores of CrackBerry addicts that adorn Dubai’s malls, clubs and bars, I’m afraid to say I have become one. I recently found myself to be the proud owner of a BlackBerry Curve, since some inconsiderate, drunk pervert spilt his drink all over my beloved Swarovski encrusted Nokia E71 in a bar last week (yes, you read right – Swarovski encrusted. I’ve officially become one of ‘those’ Dubaians). I helplessly looked on as my pride and joy drowned in a Long Island Ice Tea, unable to jump in and save it on time. Despite several resuscitation attempts, she was gone. The lights were on, but there was definitely no one at home.
As I mourned my loss, a good friend of mine came to comfort me. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I will arrange to fix this one and you can have my BlackBerry until I do.” Having a spare phone and that spare phone being no less than a BlackBerry, is something that will probably baffle those of you who are reading back home in the UK. But this is Dubai. Everyone has several phones, particularly the locals who change their gadgets more than they change their kandoras. My friend in question was one such local. So off we went in the middle of the night to a palace (yes, a palace) to collect my replacement phone.
So once I got home that night, I unpacked my new arrival and tried to make sense of all the buttons and functions. At first, I had no idea what the fuss was about. The keyboard was tough to use, the layout was boring and without unlimited internet access the device seemed like an over glorified piece of plastic. An expensive one at that. I lustfully thought of my trusty Nokia E71 and everything we’d been through together: regretful drunkard text messages at 3.10am, shouting matches and awkward phone calls – my phone had been through it all with me. But all this nostalgia was about to dissipate fast.
Speaking to another one of my friends, I found out that Etisalat (a telecommunications provider here in the UAE) currently has a deal on offer – one month’s free internet access for BlackBerrys, no strings attached. Being completely and shamelessly addicted to Facebook, I relished the idea of being able to stalk people’s profiles while on the move. So I decided to give the offer a whirl and see what this bad boy could really do.
Once the set-up was complete (a simple process that entailed me sending one text message), the useless and expensive piece of plastic miraculously came alive. At the touch of a few buttons, I suddenly had instant access to personal email, work email, Facebook, MSN and BlackBerry Messenger. I finally understood what a ‘PIN’ was and was scrambling to find out which of my friends were fellow BB users.
All of a sudden my phone was pinging every five minutes. Sure enough I had a load of rubbish to contend with, but spam text messages, emails that entailed me actually doing some work and boring event invites aside, I found myself enjoying being able to access all my accounts at any time. I soon became hooked on the high of getting a new notification. I found myself updating my Facebook status even more than usual (a task I thought was impossible) and wanting to tell the world about every detail of my life (despite the fact I know no one gives a flying crap whether I’m drunk – again).
I’m embarrassed to admit that things got worse. I soon found myself becoming ‘one of those’ BlackBerry users. You know, the ones who parade their phone with the same pride a male gorilla parades its nuts and who always have their phones out on the table in a restaurant/coffee shop, just to prove to the world how important they are. Those who just have to check their phone the minute it pings and gleefully give anyone who owns anything other than a BB the look of pity. Bless, you only have a Samsung.
Like with any great relationship, however, the BlackBerry and I went through a sticky patch. Instant access to your work emails at the weekend is nothing less than masochistic. You may as well willingly chain yourself to your desk and offer to work seven days a week at no extra cost. And no matter how much you try not to check your inbox, the flashing red light will bug you and taunt you until you have lost the will to live and give in, only to find you’ve been given a crap assignment to do, or that the important material that you were waiting for from a PR isn’t actually ever going to make it to you. In one click of a button, your weekend is ruined and you find yourself wanting to lob Mr BB onto Sheikh Zayed road and watch as it’s smashed into smithereens. By having instant access to my work emails, I found myself having instant access to the feeling of dread you get back in the UK when a load of bills drop through the letter box, only this charged up version was not limited to once a day.
I have now had the BlackBerry for just over a week and I still haven’t heard about the fate of my E71. I guiltily have to admit, however, that despite the love I have for my old phone, I think I will be really upset the day I have to give BB up. I am already considering buying my very own BB, as the thought of going cold turkey and not having instant access to Facebook et al is now horrifying to me. Yes, despite the nuisance of having to deal with a work emails at the weekend, I still think that having the ability to check people’s status updates while stuck in yet another traffic jam outweighs the disadvantage. So, OK, maybe I have sold out just a little bit by giving in to the charm of the BB. But the truth is, once you go Black, you really can’t go back.
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